EM, I am sorry to be negative here... but... this man many countless times crossed boundaries, how many times have you set boundaries and not followed through, you gave up an opportunity to move away, counselors stated to you that you should leave. You are hoping for children but are with a man who: 1. Suffers serious "issues" and severe depression 2. Does not have a job, nor looking for one 3. Has not had sex with you for many YEARS!!!!! 4. Seems content with the status quo and is extremely slow to change, if at all
Do you think this man would be good, solid father material? Dependable, responsible, reliable? A good role model?
I guess I have to ask you. What are you not worth more? You had stated a while back that you thought he married down. Well, do you still feel this way? Your absolutely wrong you know. Why are you content to settle? Fear, guilt, inertia, lack of confidence, insecurity, poor self esteem?
What do YOU find desirable in this man? What trait or qualities? How long are you going to live with less than you deserve? How is he filling YOUR needs?
You have anger and trust issues with this man? Well, hell yeah!! He treated you so very, very wrong for such a long time and the worst of it. He is still treating you this way.
I know you may want to "mother" or "care-take" this man. It is not healthy. Are you co-dependant?
How can you be with a man that has not had sex with you for years and you would like to be sexually active and have children? How?
I don't want to be blunt here... but you are missing you window for getting pregnant. Once you hit 35 it gets harder and the chances of a risker pregnancy goes up. Why are you squandering your opportunity to have children, waiting on this man!!!!!
Where instead you could be moved on onto a HEALTHY relationship with a man who loves you and takes ACTIONS to make YOU HAPPY! Do you see the one sided dynamic here?
I am so sorry for the harsh post. I really am. I just see a woman who is living less that she should be and hoping for more and...IDK, what do you say when you see something so fundamentally wrong.
Even in the eyes of God and your church you are justified to end the marriage b/c 1. He has a very long affair 2. He has not had sex with you for many years
So what gives, can you please tell me why you are with him?
Am I missing something here?
Again, I am truly sorry to "stomp on your progress" I just have a totally different opinion of things
You are worth better woman, why don't you get this?
You feel discouraged b/c the situation has changed very little for you. You needs are still not being met and I am certain that several years from now. You could possibly be stuck in the same place. WAITING..... HOPING....FRUSTATED..... Realizing that life has quickly passed you by and you lived it not the way you have wanted. Your real life has been on hold waiting for your huband, well, to be a husband. It seems like you are living your life for him and not for you. Are you grasping for the dream of what could have been? Stuck in a loop?
You have given years of your life to a man who does not appreciate you (b/c if he knew how you felt, if he knew how many sacrifies you have made for him) he would never leave you in this spot. He would move heaven and earth to make things right by you.
He is not doing that. You deserve more, you deserve what other wives are getting, nothing less.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
