The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

Just journaling the rest of the weekend.

I made it to the meetup.com group. It was a disappointment. I was the youngest there by 10 years. They were nice and it was OK once we started playing cards. We tried a game called May I.

I stayed from 6:30 p.m. to 10 p.m., so it was OK.

Then I met friends at the same place as the night before. Yes. Get the 2x4s out.

This night was stranger still. I called a commercial Realtor friend on the way because I knew she was downtown and I said if she wanted she should stop by.

She did show up with a friend of hers I'd met once before. The friend's boyfriend broke up with her this week so she was in a mood.

I just talked to both of them. My friend was having an OK time. Her friend was getting steadily drunker.

By the end of the night my friend had taken off and her friend was there and ... well, if I wanted to end my 22-month dry spell I could have.

I seriously thought about it. But then I thought what would that help. I wouldn't ask this lady out on a date. I wouldn't want to run into her again and I definitely wouldn't want to introduce her to my daughters as daddy's new girlfriend.

So I let the opportunity pass by -- and felt really good about that this morning.

Made it to church. The message for this month is "If God is great why do bad things happen."

After, they invited people having troubles to talk to someone from the church who were sticking around. So I went up and told a man named Kevin that this week I'll have my first court date in the divorce and our second mediation and I'm having trouble trusting that God will take care of me.

His message that God will decide what is best for my family at this time, however it turns out.

Went home and was watching the Masters and reading. Friends called me to play racquetball. I did that for 90 minutes. Then one of my best friends at the paper was telling me about a fight he had with his girl friend.

They've been together 2 1/2 years. It took them two years to have sex. She has a physical condition that makes it difficult, but she's not a virgin. She's been with several others.

So they've had sex twice now. They stayed in this weekend to save money and my friend was hoping, hey, why not and she shot him down Friday and Saturday she wanted to go shopping for wedding rings. He didn't feel like going after Friday and the night didn't end well again.

I think his girlfriend is a very nice person and she's very pretty, but when STBX and I were dating we were all over each other all the time. The problems came later and what he's describing to me is how our M was the last three years.

This may be caveman thinking but I said and he knows deep down that if it isn't good now, it's unlikely to get better after you get married.

Came back home to watch more golf and got a call from D11. She wanted to know if I wanted to go see a movie. She wanted to see Alice in Wonderland and D7 wanted to go see How to Train Your Dragon again.

I said, yes, great, I'll do it. It's W's weekend so this is found money for me.

So STBXW drops D11 off -- I get to hug D7 -- and we go to the money. Bizarre movie. D11 laid in the front row with her head in my lap.

She filled me in on the weekend a bit. STBXW is finally planting flowers in the flower garden I built for her four years ago. That was a fun project. I woke up at 6 a.m. for two months to take chunks of concrete from our old driveway to build the garden.

Then STBXW did nothing with it. I spent two years pulling weeds out of it. Oh well, I'm glad she's using it although my guess is this will be the only year she does. I'll be shocked if she's there next year -- either short sale or foreclosure.

Anyway, I walked D11 in after the movie so I could give D7 a hug. The dog is always excited to see me. STBXW was in D7's room doing something and I didn't say anything to her.

So that's the rest of my weekend. I had several moments of -- is there all there is. This week is going to be extremely difficult, but at least next weekend is mine with the girls. It'll be a challenge with my new budget.