I ask myself this question often. My H mother asks this question often. She believes he is just gone. She thinks he is completly off the deep end and not sure if he will return.
I am so grateful for my H's family's support..it helps me to keep my sanity when H is behaving so insane. My MIL asked me to come have dinner with her tonight. I had plans already but I feel so fortunate to have such caring in laws.
Grit- you deserve better too..who does deserve this BS??? Like you..I do also believe that the good man I married still exists...but I am losing faith in that. Actually- I know that there is goodness in him...but I think his dark side is too overwhelming for me.
I feel like I made such a big mistake marrying a man like him..and this is not good. I have never been a romantic..never dreamed of my wedding day although I had a fabulous wedding..never felt like I needed to get married and have children...I just always wanted a good man besides me to share my life with. I think I just may have chose wrong.
I loved my H for all that he was and for all that he wasn't. I always joked with him...I will love you just the same when you are fat and bald. I love much deeper than him. I don't harbor resentment for everything he has done.. It was funny because when my H was over yesterday..he made this comment "I think we can get over the affair..but the other issues we have will be more difficult to get over". Why would he say this? Because I am the one that would have to do work to get over his A- not him...and I am so much more forgiving and caring than he ever has been. He is resentful because his bathroom wasn't completed in time..and I don't understand his pain. It is just crazy. He is resentful of every little thing that has happened for the past 10 years. This is why he is an angry person. He cannot let go.
I think I have said this multiple times..but after learning of my H affair..my H said to me "I thought you were lucky to have me...I was wrong..I took you for granted". Being away from him..I can honestly say without anger..my H never deserved me..not because I am cocky or conceited..but I have always been too good to him and for him. It was hard for me to believe that with all his put downs and insults..but being away from the situation..I can see that he never deserved my love. That has helped me to continue to detach from him.
