Trusting
Try not to overanalyze everything. As you pointed out you were wrong when you made an assumption. I was/am a chronic over analyzer. Once you let go and just let him go on his journey then you will stop paying attention to the little things. Focus on yourself and your children. I know it is hard to imagine being happy without your h but think of all of the great experiences you can have bonding with your children. Take this time for yourself and your children.