The year of not my problem

[AJM]

So after several years of being treated like crap, trying like a fiend to save our 18+ year marriage, I'm now heading for separation/divorce. What fun
She dropped the bomb 10/8. She moved out mother's day and left me and the kids behind. I let her come back thinking she had changed. I was wrong. I think now she just came back to get her things...
As far as I can tell, she has been gone since 9/08 when the crisis of her nephew dying hit. She never really came back from the funeral.
I've been relieved actually. I'm very "depleted" as the counselor calls it. She has killed the marriage and there is not a thing I can do about it.
Others talk about waiting to date at least one yearly cycle. I get that. I can honestly say that I've been alone for at least that long. Am I ready for another relationship? To some degree yes. But nothing too serious. I agonized over that concept for a while. But to tell the truth a transitional relationship doesn't seem like a bad idea. A way to learn more about people. To learn more about me. I've had a lot of alone time to think about that over the past several years (even before the bomb).
Now I'm moving on. Faster and faster. And I feel better about it. I look forward to being happier and not just relieved but for now I'll take the relieved part. 'Cause I know the happiness is coming after we are truly separated (we still have to live in the same house until it sells for financial reasons.)
One thing that is curious - she swore up and down she wanted to be friends. I have no desire to be friends with somebody that treated me like has. Still don't. But it's curious why she is soooooooo angry towards me. Has been for a very long time. I know I can't get an answer, but it is baffling to me why she gets what she wants and is angry. <sigh>

Hope the house sells fast....

AJ