After reading through the MLC stuff, I see how the addiction to OW evolved. It has helped my understanding, but, unfortunately, added a whole new dimension to things for me to tackle.
A good book my IC suggested was "Rebuilding when a relationship ends" by Bruce Fisher. I was angry at first that she was suggesting my marriage was over, but I see my marriage, as it was, IS over, no matter the outcome. The author takes each issue step by step. I like it.
Have fun partying!Happy Birthday D10! Take pictures! I have been forgetting to do that and my kids are wondering where 2009 went!
I am taking DS13 to NASCAR today too. Hmmm....
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
Hope you have a great time with D's party today! Celebrate and be in the moment as much as you can manage.
(((mb)))
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
WhatNow - Nascar night race in Phoenix? Small world. We live in Utah, so H flew down with some friends that are choosing him over me. I'm pretty sure he has taken the OW with him. To bad there is like a million people there, I could have you spy for me J/K.
Have fun, watching the races live is so much fun.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
I had a fun day with my D9 bday party, it was nice to see her having fun with her friends.
I'm feeling down now thinking of my H. He is at the Nascar race as we speak, and the fact that I was supposed to be there with him is really putting a damper on my mood. Also the friends that he is with have been posting pics and fun posts on FB about their weekend there so far. Of course there are no pics of my H. I don't know for sure if he took OW, but my gut is telling me he did. What gets me, is how any of our friends could just accept her into their lifes like that. I was in Mexico with these friends back in September.
I still have hope something will change and my H will decide work on our M. However, after going over D papers with him on Thursday, he said he would call L on Fri to set up appt this week to re-write the papers and have me sign them and file. I know I need to move on as if he will never come back but it's so hard to do. Even though I know that is also the only way he will ever come back.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
It's so hard mb. Everyone keeps telling me that I have to focus on myself and stop thinking about H. It's true that being preoccupied with him robs me of the peace that I deserve. We just need to visualize that big red stop sign every time our minds go there, and I'm sure it's even worse when you have a confirmed OW sitch. hugs to you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Thanks flowmom, hugs to you too. I am doing much better for the most part, just the last couple of hours have been bad. And I no longer have the urges to call or text him. I actually hate seeing him, you can gut the rejection and hatred coming from him with a butter knife. My IC noticed a pattern in my really bad days, those are the days I see my H.
He will be moving out of the house in 2 weeks and I will be moving in. I'm looking forward to actually only see him once every 2 weeks. I know that is the only way I'll ever have that chance of having him miss me. The only bad thing about it, is won't be able to see my changes. However, I know they are no longer for him, but for me anyway.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
So true flo and mb28. To the outside world I seem great and everyone says that I am handling things so well and so impressed. Only the people on this board and my parents and my closest cousin really know the turmoil that I feel. Its ok though...I like flo's idea of visualizing a big stop.
Mb...we must have been in Mexico at or around the same time :-) Husband and I took a vacation during Labor Day weekend and had a GREAT time.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
4luv, that is so funny about Mexico, we were there around the 14th. This was are 4th trip like this, couples only adults only resort. We've always had fun, the only bad about this last time is I broke my leg a week before we left and had to have surgery 3 days before, but I was still determined to go. It was sort of depressing not being able to get in the water at all. As soon as we got back, that is when our M started to fall apart. My H tells me and everyone else that he had been miserable for 4 years. And everyone I know has said, if he was miserable, he hid it very well.
BTW - how is your son doing?
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
