Faith without works... (my new thread)

[james217]

Maybe me and WAW are getting too close . last night we talked again. This time for a few hours. There was flirting going on but unless I am perfect and don't do or say anything wrong she is mad at me.

She still wants to date. But here is something I don't like. I don't like feeling like when she wants to talk we talk when I want to talk about something bothering me she's busy.

Last night there was a little pillow talk. Then it just stops. She starts getting distant. I'm kind of hurt. We had a little R talk (not good) and discussed the bible. she had questions about the role of W AND H and M. I gave her the verses. She said she's going to look them over.

I was really really sad last night. She could tell. She kept asking what was wrong. I stated if I tell you you will just get mad. She said she would have an open mind.

I told her how I felt about alot of things. She was kind of distant saying she's worried about finding a job. We talk about the bible again. I ask her if she's ok. She seems to be extremely guarded tonight.

I failed at dbing effectively tonight. I backslid. I started crying. i couldn't help it. I was missing the kids my wife and just kind of down and wondering if this job was going to call me. I've been pretty good about being positive. But she started talking about S8 and that really got to me.

She just kept saying baby it's going to be alright one minute then the next distant.

I pretty much stayed up all night. I couldn't get any rest. I don't know if the night was a total loss but I really backslid and let her see me being vulnerable again. I'm pondering in my mind if I should set a period of darkness for a few days then maybe a week.

She wants to go out tuesday but I do't know anymore. The affairs have been busted (5 days and no affair talk) but I don't just want to be her friend.

The dating could do one of two things.

Allow her to see that we can be happy and have fun together
Or
Allow her to be comfortable with seeing me and spending time with me and neer wnating to come home cause I'm filling her need of lonliness. But I need my need of lonliness too.

I think the intimate talk got to me. It reminded me of how things used to be and I really really missed her touch.

Well today Ill have another chance to db better.

I'm comptemplating darkness.