WAW/MLC/Runner

[Jasmine]

GF,
I responded in your thread as well.

Yes, I very much missed my husband and our lifestyle. I did NOT miss the mean and nastiness that he had projected towards me though.

I ALWAYS thought about going back but then I was brought back to WHY I left. I did not leave because of OM. I left because our M was pretty crappy, in my eyes not in H's. OM was just willing to help me out.

I did come back to H SEVERAL times and HE did not do work to better himself. He was needy, insecure, whiney, etc. I grew annoyed with the ILY and the "forced" change. He truly wasn't not himself. It was hard for me to be around him while HE is walking on eggshells being totally insecure, yet doing everything HE thought possible to "keep me" from leaving him. That wasn't the change I wanted or needed.

OM became controlling and kept me from having much contact with H. I wanted to contact him. I wanted to communicate with him but when I did, I had a manipulative person "taking care" of me and it wasn't worth the current battle with OM. I was just so happy to be away from H and M.

I LOVED it when H contacted me but OM became jealous and annoyed. The mind frame I was in, I couldn't think or act for myself, I allowed myself to be controlled an manipulated by OM.

journaling and info:
I wished I had gone out on my own and not the OM route. I was desperate to move, I needed help to move and OM saw opportunity. As I am coming out of the fog, man, I cannot BELIEVE I was so manipulated and controlled. More so in the A than in the M with H. Talk about SERIOUS self esteem issues. Currently, OM is getting scared. He is sensing my independence and my fog clearing and is freaking. I have to take this slow on my break from him. My best friend calls him a stalker.