Listening for surprises...

[ediemarie]

Hi June -
yeah, I post from time to time and read from time to time.
I feel like this piecing thing just takes so long and sometimes I feel really discouraged. Lurking around here seems to help.

I feel like H and I are doing well, but yes, no sex, and yes we both want kids. We're gearing up for some heavy duty counseling - I'm sure. Lots of postives here though: we're talking about the sex issue - HUGE plus - and without fighting - another HUGE plus - and both owning our own issues. We both are hesitant. I'm grossed out and so is he. We've got to somehow get through this. We've also both been dealing with bouts of depression, so I'm sure that's contributing to it all as well.

H quit his job last year, but doesn't have a new one. And that's ok with both of us. He's spent the last year in counseling and handling a lot of his issues. He ended up in a pretty deep depression last year and was unable to work. He's starting to get bored around here, though, and that is a really good sign. We'll see what happens with his work.

We are not moving. At least not anytime soon. We're here for the long haul and both of us are comfortable with that decision.

ETA: I was able to journal a lot this past week and that helped me get some perspective on how I feel about our situation. I realized I have some anger that I need to work through and I have some trust issues. I was also able to share how I felt with H without him asking what was bothering me and that was a huge plus in terms of building intimacy with him. Just wanted to remind myself that journaling worked!