Oh, and at this point, my trying to GAL has nothing to do with trying to impress him or give him space or make him miss me. It's because I feel like I need to leave pretty soon and I feel like I need to get my life back first in order to do it.
I just feel like it's all just steps to prepare myself for D.
I'm the one who has been chasing him around this whole time, I'm the one who has done all the work to try to keep us together, I'm the one who has been generous in showing affection, care, support and loyalty.
Now I'm the one who feels like dropping the bomb, ILYB..., because he did not appreciate my hard work and patience, and instead let our relationship waste away like all the other forgotten, neglected objects he has.
"That's why we can't have nice things"
He has showed me that our relationship means little more to him than any of my posessions, which he doesn't think twice about damaging.
You should see my car, full of his junk, trash, old fast food bags and cups, and the upholstry is full of cigarette burns. He drives with an expired license, meaning if he gets pulled over, MY car gets impounded at MY expense.
This is how he shows me respect?
I have discussed with him ad nauseum that he needs to take care of things, both in his life and in our relationship. We have had 100s of these discussions, and he says, "yeah, I should take care of that" and NOTHING ever changes.
Perhaps when I'm actually leaving, gone, final, I can have that same discussion again, in past tense. He will say, "yeah, I guess I should've" and maybe he will really get it because now there are consequences.
No more car, no more maid, no more loans, no more back rubs, no more free ride.
And I feel sorry for the next poor girl who falls in love with such an intelligent mind, only to find out he never uses it.
