The journey begins

[faithisbelieving]

CTH....you must find strength. We, as men, get the shaft when it comes to time with our kids. Life is going to change and you must find a way to cope (like me).

As for the date of signing, forget that. I had to sign my documents right away and the date they arrived was 2/14. STBXW chewed my a$$ out about this.

She didn't see me....alone in my office...with the tears pouring down my face...in in credible pain. No one did.

Forget dates. Look at time with your kids.

FIB

[ClingingToHope]

That wasn't so bad. Went through the financial stuff and the forms show I don't make enough to meet my current expenses right now with the amount I'm paying her so any increase would be a real hardship.

So we'll see how that goes.

The paralegal gave me a sense of peace about things. She likes the judge we were assigned and said it's highly unlikely that I'd end up losing time I'm already getting.

Day one of the "Budget." I turned down dinner with a friend tonight. Not enough room in the budget. Am going out tonight and hope to keep the bill to less than $20.

She also said we'll likely just decide a temporary child support amount Tuesday and possession of the house. If W tries to change the schedule at all we'll probably then go to a hearing.

[ClingingToHope]

Oooh, my head is spinning. Went out with a friend from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. She's a former co-worker married to another former co-worker. She brought several friends. Fun had by all, but now I have a major headache.

What to do with the day?

[mishka422]

Get out in the sun, it's good for hangovers. Oh yeah.....take one Tylenol and one Excedrin. A doctor friend of mine suggested that to me once and it's like a magic bullet!

[ClingingToHope]

Rode my bike to the library and then turned around and rode it to work. My legs are screaming at me. I'll hang out here for a bit and ride back. Hopefully the wind doesn't shift.

Weird night last night. My old coworker brought a single friend of hers and she brought a single friend. One of them made out with a 22-year-old -- she's 37 -- and the other got hit on by a couple of guys who looked to be in their late 20s.

She liked the attention and I had to give a friend a ride home so I left.

The one who made out with the 22-year-old Facebook friended me.

The bar scene is crazy. I thought I was done with it.

[whatisis]

Be done with it, you don't want to go there! Alcohol, pain and a need for validation make a lousy combo. What you saw last night is about as good as it gets. So have a drink with a buddy at a Sports Bar and stay away from the "singles" crap. I've yet to hear anything good come from making such outings routine. I've had a few friends who, post divorce, ended up with a new GAL activity called fatherhood with women they hardly knew because drunks somehow tend to forget to put on rubbers! Don't let this be YOU!

[ClingingToHope]

I hear you whatisis, fortunately for me the fatherhood thing is no longer possible. After the second daughter, STBXW and I talked about trying for a boy. A friend of mine, who had three kids, said when she had two it didn't seem like enough, then she had three and it was way too many.

So we decided to stop at two and me -- being the hero -- went under the knife so W didn't have to keep taking birth control pills.

This was definitely the weirdest night I've had. I can't really make it a habit anyway because I have my girls every other weekend and I'm working at running races out of town at least one weekend a month from now through October.

So I really only have one free weekend a month.

There was a high point. I really butchered Yellow Submarine at the karaoke machine.

[whatisis]

Hey, you can't have kids, well you can still start STD collecting for fun and profit, that could be your new singles niche at the bar! But, I'd stick to a nice Meetup group where they play scrabble...is there such a thing as strip Scrabble? Just thinkin' out loud...

[Gardener]

There was a high point. I really butchered Yellow Submarine at the karaoke machine.

Well, there you go! Clearly it wasn't a total loss! I do agree with whatisis re: the whole bar scene, though, fwiw.

[faithisbelieving]

A 22 year old won't stay with a 37 year old for long. Trust me on this.

Agree that if you develop a need for validation, you may develop a need for penicillin. Take your time.

Our minds go all over the place when this happens. For me, it was seeing all the couples at T-ball and baseball practices and, now, being 'single', feeling totally outcast. You'll adapt and go forward. There are millions of us out there. Sound fuzzy? No, but, keep your head high, focus on the kids.

FIB