I remember (vaguely) when I was 25. My plans changed about every 2 weeks.
I'm not saying you should stay or you should go, but I would encourage you to have a listening ear even when his plans change to something you have previously discussed otherwise before.
Read these again ladies. Memorize them. Apply them..
If only we could get most of the women on here to believe and apply these truths about men. We would have many many more success stories to be bragging about.
We will keep on trying to get through to you many of these truths about men.
"If a man wants you NOTHING can keep him away"...
"If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay"
Oh how true.
Quote:
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you, as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think, "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-God. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and your always readily available to him, he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never cosign for a man. (Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!) Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Read these again ladies. Memorize them. Apply them..
If only we could get most of the women on here to believe and apply these truths about men. We would have many many more success stories to be bragging about.
We will keep on trying to get through to you many of these truths about men.
"If a man wants you NOTHING can keep him away"...
"If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay"
Oh how true.
Quote:
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you, as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think, "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-God. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and your always readily available to him, he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never cosign for a man. (Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!) Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Yep. That's my observations and experience. I learned a very long time ago that it really is a big waste of valuable time to hang in there or wait or chase a woman who says or acts like they want space or don't want me..
Best lesson I ever learned. Stopped me from wasting time and took all of the guess work out of it. They really WILL let you know when they like you. If not, they respond much better when you just move on down the road and be happy with your life and get right back into living. Seems to wake them up often. Women respond really well to emotional strength from a man. They lose respect when they are trying to give a man a message but he just doesn't get it. They hate to hurt his feelings and just want him to read her actions and get the message withou having to tell him straight out. Some men can't take the hint.
"Oh, it is SPACE you want"?
"No problem at all. I'll give you some space. Space indeed. Matter of fact, I think maybe we both need some space"
hmm... this is so opposite of the DB coaching advise I get... now Im really conflicted....
My coach told me tonight that our main problem is arguing and even arguing about my H going to Iraq... she said I should try to be loving, fun, affectionate (since my H does respond to that) and be someone he would want to be with and that I should try to stay here until August
My plan before I talked to her was to leave so I could just move on down the road and if it woke my H up then so be it, if not then so be it....
hmmmmmm....gucci you got me confused!
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
lol.. its confusing all around... he does respond to me being affectionate here lately, but when we talk about our M, conversations seem to keep coming full circle back around to we wont work.... my coach says I am having these conversations way too often and the pressure of them is causing H to keep coming back around to these conclusions... i have so many time constraints on me here in our military situation that it leaves me constantly looking for answers to beat the clock.... H is a little wishy washy about what he wants with us...
if you havent read my sitch lately, we had decided, or he had decided that i was going to leave Turkey and go back home because we werent working it out... and papers are routing for me to leave... but since that happened H had said he wanted to try to work on us... but then I guess i made him feel like working on us meant he had to choose that over going back to iraq or afghanistan here in a few months and so he came back to the conclusion that it wasnt going to work... but he does respond to me advances... does tell me he loves me here recently... its all a confusing mess... sometimes he is everything i need him to be, and sometimes he makes it clear it wont work...
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
I will tell you what I see based on my experience in these things.
He is showing the signs of having another woman in his mind.
This is how men act when they have another woman. He knows he can have you at any time. That gives him all the power. I am sure you have heard "the one who cares the LEAST is in charge of the relationship".. You have allowed him to be in charge. I find this sad to watch when women are in this position. I do know that most of the men that I have ever known in my life have usually only left their wife for one thing. Another woman.
ALL of them? HHHMMM..
I can't recall any that haven't left without one on the side, but I am sure there must be some, because I surely don't want to be known for saying ALL.
I believe you are overlooking that possibility and this is causing you to blame yourself and try to find some possible way to "win his love" back.
Ok? That is my take. I would do whatever it took to find that out before I made any other decisions about which way to take this. I have found though that many men and women don't really want to hear that. They just don't want to believe it. Denial.
"The spouse is the last to know".. is usually true..
Like the quote we heard..
When a man wants you NOTHING can keep him away. Not even Iraq. NO?
Also if your husband responds to more affection, why not keep it up, and DONT BRING UP THE PAST.
Give it some time, say a couple of months. The hope will be that any shady behaviors will drop off. If they don't you drop him, you should feel like your number one.
GucciLoafer is showing how if a WAYWARD ( husband or wife ) really wants you, THEY WILL COME HOME.
It is because they know they HAVE you, that they keep on the path that they are on.
This thread is all about being positive in the face of a negative situation, that YOU ( man or woman ) should know, even though the one you married has betrayed you, that you are worthy to someone else who deserves someone like you.
That in many cases you did not have to do anything wrong, that how can someone who is cheating on you say you had to change anything, unless you where abusive, neglectful and damaging to them.
That many times the spouse IS last to know. Do your hard 180's, live your life and if you choose to wait for your spouse to release themself from what was hopefully a BAD DECISION, then more power to you.
It should only last a certain amount of time, and only you know how long you are willing to wait.
Many of us know that we are "backup plans" for our cheating spouse and it doesn't feel good at all.
Talking with Gucci, have gotten me back onto my natural wavelength, where I KNOW I'm supposed to be treated well by the opposite sex.
