I still feel you have way too much focus on your H.
Think of it this way... no matter what happens in your M many things have to change. You do have to address the money issues as together or apart, you and your H have debt to pay and children to support AND you must not rely on your H totally for money (even if you get back together). Together or apart it seems your H simply has the expectation that his W will bring in an income and that is what he needs and wants.
I disagree that see a psych together for co-parenting is a good idea. Here is why... you have too many expectations about what *could* happen, you are not detached enough and you have so much focus on your H I don't see it doing you much good. IMO, from an outsiders POV, it looks like a sneaky attempt to get your H in front of a counselor of some sort and right now, he simply doesn't want that. While this is speculation it seems he thinks co-parenting is going okay for now and requesting a meeting with a "pro" to improve will make him feel like what he is doing is not good enough. Now think of how you feel when he implies what you are doing is not "good enough" (ex. income). How would you feel if your H asked you to see a psych with him to come up with a plan for you to earn more money (your sore spot)? Just asking to give you a different perspective.
My MIL and I were as close as two people could be. We spoke daily and were the very best of friends. When my H left me she was devastated and I do mean devastated in a way I couldn't even believe. But she still supported and loved her son and your MIL will do the same no matter what feelings she has about you or the M.
WAS rarely "make a final decision" other than to file for divorce and be done with it. I do not feel a trip will do a bit of good in that department. When a WAS decides to give the LBS a second look, IMO, it is a very, very slow progression. In fact, IMO, the progression is so slow that often times the LBS is in a much better place all around and is able to view things in a far more clear fashion. And maybe that is a good thing.
