How to approach W about OM

[MrBond]

Don't know if you ever read my posts, but for everything you've detailed, there's a very simple solution again...Back Off.

She says you're controlling. She says you won't change. Etc.

Stop engaging in conversations to make her change her mind or see things differently. The reason why DB says to not bring up R talks is precisely for this. Let her see the changes in you. Actions more than words. Let her come up with her own conclusions.