I'd like to add my own experience to this concerning former loves.
With the advent of Facebook, it seems more and more people are reconnecting with ex's. It seems that for many, myself included, that somewhere deep down, feelings still exist for a former love/spouse, after many years.
I suupose this is especially true if the current relationship is not going well.
I reconnected with a former love after many years and had an affair. It was easy for both of us, taking us back to an idyllic time when everything was good, no kids, responsibilities, etc. Most of our emails centered on just that - the past.
When I did get to see her, it was just ok, although the momentum of the emotional sharing carried over to getting physical. Once we ended it, I found closure to that part of my past.
It's now where it should have been all along - a good memory from my past.
Now I have a new mountain to overcome if it comes to that, which is putting my wife in my past. To tell you the truth, I do not see a new relationship with someone else without being affected with the memories of my life, moments shared, and feelings that I have for my current wife.
It is truly scary. A relationship just doesn't work out without both partners giving it their all. That doesn't even count the baggage the future partner brings into the relationship. Perhaps that's why 2nd & third marriages don't work out so well.
