reconciliation after divorce?

[any chance?]

I am new here, so thanks for reading. I am very concerned that my marriage is over, and that reconciliation will be impossible, but would like to hear some opinions that can help me move forward. W has asked for a divorce, saying our marriage is dead. I need to know if I should keep trying or just accept the complete collapse of my relationship. Your thoughts would be most appreciated.

Our situation: I pulled a classic moron move by not paying attention to my partner for several years, not realizing that I was putting my work, play and other things in front of her. Big mistake. Then I spiraling into a high stress situation in my life and career for about 1.5 years, which made me too self centered and difficult to deal with. Nuff said. My responsibility entirely. W reacted to this by beginning a EA with long time friend and coworker, which evolved into a PA last fall. Bomb dropped in Nov 09. W agreed to work on our marriage after that, and has avoided all contact with him, which is difficult, since we are work together. He is still totally in love with her, and will remain a problem to be sure.

W moved out into her own apt in Feb, but we remain in contact and see each other daily. She told me the situation could not continue as it was, and asked for D last week. She keeps telling me that she is trying to get her feelings for me back, but that those feelings are not coming back. Seems as if she thinks her feelings can get turned on and off like a light switch. Over the past two months, we would see a lot of each other, but after a day or so she would have to flee back to her apt. I am convinced that she decided her marriage was over last summer during her EA, and she has never varied from that decision. I feel like she has really never even tried to really reconcile,or notice the changes that I have made, which are significant. Our good friends are convinced a D is inevitable, and I get the feeling my W has decided that D is the only answer. She is really torn up about it, and is very depressed. She rarely talks to anyone, except her therapist, who is convincing her to leave me.

I am confused and devastated, of course, particularly since I have never been given a chance. If the D does happen, am I a fool to think she might realize she made a mistake down the road? Am I a fool to think reconciliation will ever happen? Should I just pack up and move on? I really do not know what to do.