WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

rebut nothing. Seriously, why would you rebut anything she says at this point, unless she's claiming you worship satan? If she says you are a purple leopard and that bothers you, say you are sorry she sees you that way and DROP IT....

you DO rebut her and you DO argue and pursue and use God to guilt her into seeing the truth (which we all understand!!) but you must instead do true detachment which, on occasion you have done/ so go back to detaching...it'll ease your mind and rest your heart some, so you don't feel you "have to file now"....

You're dead on, 25. I was thinking that I was going back to old mistakes myself. I am quite disappointed in myself for allowing that backslide.

Why do you feel that way anyhow? Is it b/c you thought baptism was "the way" and instead of truly detaching, you were very attached to the results of HER religious experience? Remember, you do your best and leave the results up to the Big Guy upstairs.That's detachment.

Don't count on the pastor making a bit of diff if you are hovering around "just curious" about how it goes, b/c she KNOWS you are forming alliances, and she feels cornered. You are in her sand box and don't have to be, and should not be. Get out of it. It's hers. Stay in your own sand box working on your life. Right or wrong she does feel that way. So Back off! You know this Pigskin...

Back off big time. Let her solve this puzzle herself. IF the time comes that you cannot tolerate limbo anymore, then you will have your answer and you won't need to ask her anything. This is now about YOUR time line....not hers.
Make sense?
j-

Absolutely correct on all counts. Very stupid of me to put any hope in seeing an immediate about face in the wake of the baptism. I think it was a product of my weariness and not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. I was grasping at anything to keep me holding on.

I should not be in her sandbox; I hope I haven't screwed up what was probably going to naturally happen with the leaders at her church anyway. I don't intend to stick my beak in anymore.

When I went to talk to the man who baptized her, I was at a point where I thought I'd had enough. I prayed about it and felt compelled to go talk to the guy; to get a third party opinion from someone who has talked independently with both of us. To ask him if he felt any hope that our situation could be saved. I got that from him. Hopefully not at the cost of ruining whatever else he can do to break through to her.

My W feels "violated", but she was the one who told me the guy wanted to meet me, and she was the one who introduced me to him. That's fine, she can't help what she feels. I will tell her that I understand her feelings and will not reach out to anyone at her church again. If they would like to speak with me in the future, I'm going to ask that she be present as well.