UGH!! Spent last night at he hospital with my...mom. She was in unbelievable pain when I got home and I took her at the hospital. She had spent the whole day faking she was Ok because it was dad's day of chemo at another hospital. By the time I got home she couldnt walk anymore. She had a skin irritation at the middle of her waist and I had an idea of what it could be and thank God the doc said that was it. It's something we call Belt Herpes. It starts on your body somewhere and then it expands all around the torso (that's why Belt). It affects then n erves and therefore the pain. THey gave her a voltaren shot and did an ultra scan to make sure nothing is worng inside. She felt better and we got home after 1 in the morning. H left work and was with me all the time. This morning the rush has expanded and she feels bad, my dad feels sick because of the chemo and I am reaching the end of my rope here...
Anyway, forrest, I need translation here. I am loosing you...
H has been irritated all day. He talked to his sis and BiL and was trying to talk to me about it and said I was defending BiL and that made him defend his sister which is something he doesnt want to do. I have a hard time being objective here. I am pissed that his sister H lost it and became violent cause he putting himself in a position she should be at. Their problem but having one cheat and lie and living dolce vita while the other one is painted with dark colors really makes me mad.
H is making plans with the kids for vacation. He has been "here" 100% but there are times when OW's ghost bothers me so much. The reasons I am hesitant to contact her is a)it's too late and b) what Saffie said, dont want her to feel she still has power over us. I would love to know what she is up to though...
What I notice and as FG says, I keep my focus sharp all the time is that it is so easy to go back to bad routines and easy to change them. I just have to be alert until the good routines become a habbit and erase the old ones.
One thing we need to take care of is find time for just the two of us. It's what we didnt do and what we need. We need more off time, I would love to get dressed nicely and go out on dates with him, and make him want me and admire me more. It's kind of hard to do that when he only sees me in pyjamas (not even VS) and sleeping or at a hospital...
I cant say we are through this. I can say we stabilise at a new status which if I dare say, makes me happy at times. K
