How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

I broke down and decided to purchased the DB coaching sessions. I want to make sure I try everything to save our marriage. Unfortunately it is the weekend so no one is available at this time. I need some DB tips till then.

Here is a outline of the past 48 hours.
- W said there is nothing I can do.
- W said she will be leaving in a few weeks
- W said I am controlling
- W said she sees no changes and that it is all a front.
- I made a stupid comment and she said "that comment ruined any change you my have had"
- I looked at her phone seen a name and asked who it was. She was calm at first but I did not leave it alone and kept asking "and" and "why" she then became upset
- W said I don't know the real her only who I wanted her to be She has lived a lie for 10 years.
- W said leaving me is her first step to happiness.
- W said she has a hard time trusting people and it will take a lot for her to trust me again.
- I said to W "If you honestly think that in the past 3 months I have not changed any bit, please tell me because I will seek help else where because what I am doing now is not working" W gave no response and actually looked away.
- I said to W "I hope one day we can sit down and I can get to know the "real you"
- W searching the Internet on how to remove herself from the mortgage
- W thinks I am talking to OW. She has access to my phone anytime. I do not allow her to check phone logs anymore because it is a parasite. No matter what it gets her upset and she picks a fight.
- W does not care what I have to say or about anything that has to do with me, she is living her life and stuck in "my" house.