Need encouragement/stage 1 advice

[TeaEarlGreyHot]

It's the middle of the night and I'm balling my eyes out because another whole day went by of me strutting my 10-lbs-lighter behind around trying to get some kind of attention, and this time... "I have a headache."

All other things aside...sometimes we guys just don't get that (actually we are trained that it is a no-win scenario). Last year, in a discussion w/ my ex-wife, on the things she brought up (with a degree of anger) is how much and how hard she worked to lose the weight that she gained from pregnancy (she told me that she did it for me) and that I made a single dismissive comment that she took as completely discounting her effort.

Her silent response was "FU!" and she has been angry about that for nearly 28 years (I would point out that rather than being angry with me at the comment which I vaguely recall, had she actually done what her statement said, there would have been a different set of circumstances). And in that was the third component that she needed to start/justify an affair.

The other thing that caught my attention is your "fixing" comment since I recently said elsewhere that you cannot fix something that the other partner either does not want to fix and/or does not see it as a "problem" of immediate and dire threat.

But none of us can take any action against something that say (to ourselves) does not exist.

This is tough sledding and none of are here because this is easy. We are all working through our own sitations and this medium provides a way to talk with others who have either experienced or are experiencing something similar. It may not be comforting to know that you are not alone.

The Captain