SH, Actually you may want to start out by looking at him as a roommate/friend and go from there. If you can keep in your mind that he's a roommate, it might help you when dealing w/his comings and goings and being around you. Both of you have to learn to be comfortable again around each other and it takes time. If he senses that you are doing your own thing and not hovering, he may slowly let his guard down and begin to enjoy being home and w/you and your family once again. Right now, he's still jumping out of his skin and bouncing all over the place and it's going to take some time for him to settle down and come to realize that you aren't hovering or keeping tabs on his every move.
It's going to be difficult at first, but you sound like you've got a good handle on things, and I think you'll do just fine. Just remember, you started out as friends and from there a couple, etc.
Good luck!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
