kml - H doesn't even seem to like being in the same room (maybe even the same planet!) w me right now, and would likely perceive me as crowding him if I hovered around...but I'll definitely keep A & C in mind. C will also give him the space he needs to have time alone in the house and really 'feel' the place again. Not only will H's MLC be a long process...so will working on it, so he (we both!) will need to get comfortable with this new roommate scenario.
One of my 180s (in addition to having lost 40 pounds on the MLC diet!) has been to wear makeup, something I only did about once or twice a year previously but am now doing every day. Actually, last Sat, when he stopped to walk around and think about what needs to be done, I went to take a shower & 'get ready' to go out - I walked downstairs looking & feeling delicious (he didn't say anything, but I'm sure that he noticed!) and hopped in the car to go. In one of our earlier meetings post-WAH he actually said 'you're glowing!' - and I am! [After all of the weight loss and an abundance of facials, meditation, dance, exercise & yoga!] One of my family members recently commented that I look ten years younger.
Celestial - I will take heed of your advice: FRIEND (HB said 'girlfriend'...but we're definitely not anywhere near there yet!). The idea of weekly meetings may not fly ta this point though, since he seems to perceive me as authoritative 'mommy-abuser' right now. I'll just have to take it as it comes and strive to remain calm, quiet, friendly, lovingly detached, and attentive when called upon to be so.
This (the H-alien's return to the house to stay in the guest room) is going to be very hard, since the past two months (even amid the pain!) have been a time of peace, without the uncommunicative dark energy of MLC-H around. And the NC for last 3 weeks of March seemed to help me to put everything into perspective (though still struggling with acceptance!).
The GAL thing is a difficulty when one of the main issues of WAH was about my GAL-ing taking focus off of H & the M in the first place! I had actually let go of some of these activities prior to the bomb as I saw H slipping in and out of the tunnel for months prior and wanted to actively confirm that our M IS the most important thing! So, for the most part, I have pared down on volunteer-service activities (and took a Leave of Absence from grad school). But I still crave human contact, so added a couple of activities along the lines of healing, self-growth & spirituality (taking care of me instead of others).
He quickly popped in & out to drop-off a box last night (acting as though he was in a big rush, which has become the MO lately) & said that he plans to move everything else back (into the guest room that is) on Sunday. I'll be at a meditation event and then meeting up with a former colleague from 9:30 until about 3, so he'll have plenty of space. H is working a lot (7 days, tons of overtime - in order to afford the MLC apartment & joint house expenses), so he won't be here much for a while (he has to pay to months additional rent in order to break the lease!). When here, I suspect that he'll spend a lot of time in the room with the door closed - uncommunicative. We'll see how it goes... I guess it won't be much different than when I was here alone anyway, except I won't be able to talk candidly on the phone when H is here. All the more reason to continue to pursue healing GAL stuff and to concentrate on betterment and growth, detachment and forgiveness...
w me right now, and would likely perceive me as crowding him if I hovered around...but I'll definitely keep A & C in mind. C will also give him the space he needs to have time alone in the house and really 'feel' the place again. Not only will H's MLC be a long process...so will working on it, so he (we both!) will need to get comfortable with this new roommate scenario.
