I'm taking off my ring April 9

[AmyBel]

So here's my question now.

I said, and I'm really clear, that I can't say anything about her relationships with other people while we are acting "not married."

But I'm struggling with the whole thing where she is getting to indulge in the affair while I have to be mature and healthy and stuff.

Wait a minute. During your big confrontation with her at your counselor back on 4/2, you said to her:

(Knowing she is going to call the OW and resume at least the EA if not start a PA. I simply refused to make rules for her. I said, however, what you choose to do while we are separated will have an impact on my choices if you want to reconcile.)

So that is where you leave it. Why are you assuming she "gets to indulge in the affair"? You've laid out clear consequences to her. She's in the process of deciding what to do about that. If you lay out new and add'l rules and strings to that, you'll only weaken your original stand, in my opinion.

Puppy

I guess I'm feeling like I was too wimpy. But I also know that what i said was true: I can't set up rules for her. On the other other hand, She didn't ask what I preferred, didn't ask what sorts of decisions would have what consequences. I guess I'm a little pissed at that. She appears to not care if we ever get back together. But she's "on drugs" (hormones etc.) so don't you think it would considerate to let her know what the consequences would be? Even if she's in too dumb a place to ask right now?

Or is that taking care of her again?

I feel like a dog chasing its tail. Round and round we go!