I could touch her and tell her I love her. But I know these are things she doesn't want to hear.
I'm going to go out on a limb to say it sounds like your fear, too. Touch her and show her that you love her, or at least want her. ILY is a phrase that you may not need to say (or shouldn't say) right now. Show your love.
I get the money thing. For me, I tried to teach her how to be frugal by comparing prices, but the message she got was 'don't spend money'. This was consistent with her initial view when she came to Canada - that the money was 'mine'. It is too bad that money became a bigger issue during the OM times. One more battle, but you're up for it, right?!
Keep letting her know, not begging or pursing, that you want her back and you want her happy. IC is for everyone on D row - parole comes for those who do it. Either freedom in a happy M or freedom in a new R, but the IC at some point is needed to vent/get help.
She's left the OM. Now is the time to plan and act carefully. She is missing him. If you aren't there either, doesn't that leave her alone and more depressed than ever? If you can't or won't be patient enough, then you it will be many more months before things work out. If you aren't in control of your emotions, anger, feeling of failure/hurt/rejection, then how can she be expected to deal with her issues and you at the same time? You can figure out a solution if you want it badly enough.
Quote:
Wouldn't you want to show it? I guess she really has by leaving.
She's messed up right now. She misses the OM and you, but she doesn't want to go back to a situation that she hated before she left, either. Then, there are the issues that may need an IC...
I'm very impressed that your are making your commitment into action. Your daughter may be young now, but I'll guess she'll be very proud of you later regardless of what happens.
