She does need IC, she is stubborn though. I could touch her and tell her I love her. But I know these are things she doesn't want to hear. She doesn't want to work on our marriage because for some reason she feels as though she needs to be free or something like that.
I know that I was controlling when it came to money. I never felt like we had money to go and do things, when things got bad between us(mainly me finding out about OM) I started to ask where she was and when she was going to be home a lot more. Again I know my mistakes and I know I can correct them.
She does know that she is always welcome back, will it remain to be like that. I don't know I wish I did. But as of right now I'm not giving up. I have the want to work things out even if she doesn't. If that means I have to back away and become unavailable to her I will. I know the goal is to make myself better for ME. but ultimately we all want our spouses back.
Quote:
Be patient. I know I have to remind myself of that, but it is always important.
I know so do I. I pray for it every day.
The Retrou, sounds like a good idea but I'm sure as of right now she wouldn't be willing to go. We have been seperated for 3 months, so my patience might be lacking a bit.
She constantly tells me she is sorry for hurting me. Honestly I'm tired of hearing it. I know your sorry but if you truly are wouldn't you do more than say it. Wouldn't you want to show it? I guess she really has by leaving.
It sucks that she had to go to these measures to wake me up but at least I did wake up. I go to IC every week, I have been reading books like crazy. I know that if she does end up filing I will be prepaired to be a better man and father. I don't know if I will ever give up on her. I love her dearly. It is my hope that she will see this inspite of how she feels someday. I hope that her not feeling deserving of me(her words) is something she'll get over and see that it isn't just me that wants her to be around but our kids. They miss her so much. And only seeing her in the morning is starting to wear on my daughter. It is heart breaking.
I have learned a lot of skills, and yes you are right I can use them even when I am in pain. I just want to learn more of them. I want to be better for me and my kids. I don't want them to grow up with the flight tendency that my wife has. I want them to believe that things can be worked out as long as you are willing to try.
Sorry this is long but I could go on forever.
Again Sandi2 or PrairieGirl if you could give me insight I would appreciate it.
Onthemountaintop and Eric thank you for all your words.
God bless, Aces
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
