I'm sorry to read things haven't turned around, but I've realized I had watched too much TV.
On TV, your, my, and many others' issues would've just been solved, or the problem spouse would be killed in a freak accident only to return as a ghost to protect their former love forever ... not so in real life
You sound like your a flood of emotions, but somehow you managed to keep yourself growing, improving. That's awesome Flowmom!
RE "V", I was wondering if you are on good enough relations with your H still that you could go out for coffee with a babysitter at home instead of "sitting him down".
Not to give ultimatums, but to clarify and show him the beauty of some of your 180s without the kids pulling your hair. If going out is too likely to be emotional, maybe you could meet at a quiet park or something else.
Either way, try not to take V to heart, but maybe you could consider her as competition and get out your 'biology degree' to make his body go nuts for you. (Fight mode instead of flight)
