"you have some older kids right? Do you feel they will bring misery to their future S's? "
They're older, thank goodness, although it's still hard. He's a good dad, really, and I still believe they benefited from seeing a mostly good relationship, most of the time.
"And I also wonder something--have you continually been challenged to "do better"." Actually, I feel the pressure is off. At the same time, DBing taught me to let go of my preconceived notions - and that has served me very well in my current life, I'm more open and adventurous. Now I play the drums in a rock band.
"I think I would pick a very different person. Did you find yourself doing that? " lol - yup. Probably too much. H was a neat freak - new guy is a slob. But I find it refreshing! H threw out Halloween candy the day after; new guy asks me to bring him Sees chocolates. H (like ALL of my previous boyfriends) was very good at talking about his feelings. New guy is the first "typical" guy I ever dated, apparently - he runs from any conversation about our feelings, the R, any such. lol H would give only the briefest of massages, on request only. New guy gives foot massages
I think I made a mistake in making myself feel responsible for H. Maybe my marriage would still be intact if I had just done the things I'm doing now, then? (Then again, maybe not! He wouldn't really fit in with my new friends very well.)
