I'm taking off my ring April 9

[AmyBel]

So here's my question now.

I said, and I'm really clear, that I can't say anything about her relationships with other people while we are acting "not married."

But I'm struggling with the whole thing where she is getting to indulge in the affair while I have to be mature and healthy and stuff.

So, I'm thinking. At our appointment next week (we decided to go ahead and schedule a couples therapy appointment for thursday).

I want to say: "I know you think you must contact the OW in order to figure out what you want. I want to know that you are figuring things out, and not indulging in a romantic relationship. So I want to ask you to ONLY be in contact with the OW in a therapist's office. Then we both know that you are working on your stuff, not having an affair."

It feels like a delicate balance between getting out of her face and space, and taking care of myself, and between obsessing over the "invader" and getting real. between none of my business and totally my business...