I'm so sorry to hear that. When you said "was unfaithful" I thought you meant past-tense.

Maybe you should post in the "affairs" section.

I would still consider going to Retrouv if he wants to go. He may realize that by getting the love back, you may be much happier together. My guess is that the OW might be discouraging him if she thought she'd lose him to you.

You must be feeling really awful. I hope you can find the strength to get through it all in a way that you can feel successful - married or not.

BTW - if he feels guilty, and you are willing, start off slow and let him see that you are OK with it and would love to have him go further. If it did, a good night with you might turn his head another direction (toward you).

I get the leaving alone. When my W is on my case and won't leave me alone when I'm flooded, I feel very angry.

In the week, enjoy yourself. Be happy and go out for coffee with a friend. Have some story to share with your H that shows you are a woman that is more confident, and calm despite the awful things going around.

I'd greet him with a hug or kiss on the cheek if I were a woman...but you'll have to decide what you feel is best.

He's really screwed up. You've probably made some mistakes, too. If after the weekend you decide you've had enough, you can move on with your life knowing that you can have a better relationship with another man later. If you feel there's hope, you can (later) ask him to cut off the OW contact.

Some people dealing with affairs here (and some authors) suggest demanding a 100% cut off with the OW. I think that makes sense, but only when his "love bank" is high enough for you that there is hope. He doesn't sound too hopeful.

TBL's wife was having an affair, but I'm not sure how bad it was. I suspect that on the weekend, your H may bring it up. If not, the weekend is not a place or time for confrontations. It is to try to get enough love to see what way you can move forward.

Have the best week you can, read some books to understand him and you better, and try a 180 or two.