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I guess I was looking at Kalni's response and assumed you'd be staying there a little bit before you left and might potentially interact with him. If I were you, if you can leave right away, I'd breeze out the door as soon as he's in- leave him guessing. Whatever you do, do it b/c it suits YOU, not him. If you want to do something in your house, OWN your house and ignore him for the most part. If you want to leave, leave when he gets there. If you think you'll be tempted to talk R or get emotional if you're there too long, I'd leave right away.


When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go;
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow;
Go ask Alice...
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And by the way friends
I do feel a wee bit stronger with the dimness. I am beginning to see he will never look at his part in all this as long as I"m there to be a punching bag. Last week he called me a (four letter word that starts with "c") and I must say he cannot be rewarded by me being around and being pleasant. As much as it kills me to leave my son with him alone, I plan on either being detached or leaving immediately in a detached way and staying the night at my neighbors - to protect myself! Not to make a point, not to get a reaction, but to keep myself from being hurt.

We will tak in MC next week - although he is already finding it hard to make time for our app. so we'll see if he has the courage to show up.

Feeling much better with all your support and after going to my IC again today.


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Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
so not to just take off as soon as he arrives?

Yes, because it sends the message you are not a coward and he cannot bully you any longer.

Originally Posted By: Juno
Whatever you do, do it b/c it suits YOU, not him. If you want to do something in your house, OWN your house and ignore him for the most part. If you want to leave, leave when he gets there. If you think you'll be tempted to talk R or get emotional if you're there too long, I'd leave right away.

This ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I do feel a wee bit stronger with the dimness.

Good! I've told you countless times before... you are 1000 times stronger than you think. I know this personally. I'm glad you're starting to discover this for yourself.

Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I am beginning to see he will never look at his part in all this as long as I"m there to be a punching bag.

YES!

Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I must say he cannot be rewarded by me being around and being pleasant.

Correct.

Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
As much as it kills me to leave my son with him alone

I know and I'm sorry for that.

Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I plan on either being detached or leaving immediately in a detached way and staying the night at my neighbors - to protect myself! Not to make a point, not to get a reaction, but to keep myself from being hurt.

Yes, yes and YES! You do things for YOU.

Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
Feeling much better with all your support and after going to my IC again today.

That is great news H4L.

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Listen to Gno smile


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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Originally Posted By: flowmom
Listen to Gno smile


Agreed. He's a pretty smart guy... just don't tell him I told you so cuz I haven't done my homework yet. wink

Hope, I agree with the others that you are getting stronger. You can do this. You have already come so far.

((hugs))

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Glad youre feeling a bit chirpier and going to the IC again! Will and try and catch up with you over the weekend as H isnt around! (H4L)


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Hi Hope. I am just checking in with you. I am glad to see you seem to be in a better place. How is the IC working out for you?

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Hope today is going OK for you H4L!


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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just want to say i'm not doing well


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(((Hope)))


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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