1. He can't BLAME his WIFE because HE never spoke up, that's HIS responsability
2. HE has not not one, but TWO affairs now, and he won't acknowledge the DAMAGE they do, and that's HIS responsability
3. He's lied and cheated AGAIN and won't acnkowledge the damage he's done AGAIN, and that's HIS responsability
4. He's STILL doing damage by playing these facebook games, he won't even apologize to OWH for having sex with the man's wife... he COMPLETELY sidestepped the fact that his "true feelings" were being INSERTED into another man's WIFE...
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He's playing the same song over and over and it's getting pretty monotonous.... he felt repressed, but for all that time he chose to keep that to himself. He never told his family or friends, or went to a family therapist or even cracked opena book!
Despite his feelings he's had for years, his choice of managing those feelings is to escape, lie, cheat, VIOLATE ANOTHER marriage, and now he's playing victim.
Sorry, I have no sympathy for this. He set this all up for himself... these are all HIS choices Pass, I didn't list ONE THING you did above.
Sure, you controlled alot, and he LET you... you MANAGED a lot, and he sat back and LET you.. YOU did all the WORK, and he sat and WATCHED.. this makes YOU the bad guy how?
Did he ever ASK if he could do anything more to help? No, he chose NOT to.
Listen...
<violins playing in the background...>
Some sympathy for him I will toss his way...
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1. He lied to his wife 2. He lied to his children 3. He lied to his mother 4. He lied to his friends 5. He used his wife 6. He used OMH 7. He conspired to DO UNBELIEVABLE DAMAGE to his marriage while YOU conspired to SAVE not one but TWO MARRIAGES
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Lets make an analogy here...
Some guy's in the hospital, he's on life support... not doing well at all...
1. Husband sneaks in and starts plunging a knife into him 2. Wife sneaks in and gives him a pillow, a blanket, changes his bedpan.. and while she's THERE... she visits the guy in the bed next to this man and does the same for HIM too
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Who's the rotten sneak in the scenario above you tell me! lol
Your husband is AVOIDING the affair.. he puts 99% of his energy into talking about how HE feels and ignores all of teh damage he's been doing for how many weeks now?
The fact that he feels excited is erroneous here. He's married and so is OW. No contest. He made a commitment and he needs to HONOUR that FIRST... his FEELINGs and YOUR feelings come second.
You COULD try this route :
1. Your Wife is hurt 2. Your Wife is miseable 3. Your Wife feels used 4. Your Wife feels betrayed 5. Your wife feels robbed 6. Your wife feels violated
<add as much more on the end as you want...>
This is YOUR feelings ... if HIS feelings are SO IMPORTANT, then YOUR FEELINGS shoudl be HEARD TOO
1. YOU chose to WORK on your marriage 2. RENEW your HONOURED COMMITMENT 3. Communicate your feelings 4. Involve family for support 5. Forgive the hurt brought to your doorstep 6. Work on your marriage
YOU chose to rise ABOVE how YOU FEEL and act like an ADULT
Why didn't HE try this three YEARS AGO?
If you look at it THIS way, all of this garbage he's been spewing all afternoon just falls to the floor.
He seems to think he was in SO MUCH MORE PAIN than YOU... and I highly doubt that.
The fact remains is that when things got difficult, YOU turned to his mother and worked to SOLVE the pain YOU were in, and HE didn't.
