Thans SO much for posting. I was surprised to hear about your D...and yet...Not so surprised...
Your husband was a perfectionist, that was clear to me. And you were always working at improving things. I remember you were SO GOOD at this stuff (well, and you had been at it 2 years more than I had at that time --2004).lol. And your H seemed to always find SOMETHING to be not-quite-happy with. That SO reminds me of my H. I hear that they are very tortured people really, but boy, they do a good job at bringing you down with them!
I wondered, even back then, if YOU would ever grow tired of that--I'm actually more surprised it went the other way.
You see, I am growing weary of this. I can still improve, I see that there are even more things to try...and detaching is giving me even MORE perspective than I thought I'd get, and actually, I am enjoying changing myself EVEN MORE than I dreamed possible (because ALL my relationships benefit from this--I have really enjoyed that part of it).
I worry so much for my S 14--you have some older kids right? Do you feel they will bring misery to their future S's? I don't know if my son seeing my H this way is going to damage him forever. I am committed to staying, well, at least until my S is in college. Then maybe my H will let me off the hook and I feel I'll be like you--freedom smells so good sometimes...
And I also wonder something--have you continually been challenged to "do better". Does that keep you going? Do you get caught up in the changes, and your H is almost an afterthought? I can almost see that this could keep me going a lot longer than I originally planned.
I am happy for you, that you get to experience a relationship where you feel accepted. I know so much about spiritual gifts and all that, I think I would pick a very different person. Did you find yourself doing that?
And I know you must be so greatful for all you learned here--I know I am.
Thanks again for writing--I look forward to reading future posts! Laura
