help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[JacT]

I find myself today obsessing about my H and OW.This time last year we as a family spent some time at a cottage in the country.
I dont know if my H is working or not..are they out enjoying themselves or with her d11, S13? I hate her with a vengenace.

I find it hard to believe he can fucntion without seeing his kids but I know the brain chemicals play havoc.
I have read many sitchs and whilst we talk about how these R eventually end, there seems to be alot surviving or going on for a long time.

I still cannot comprehend how a woman with 2 ch would do the same to another woman.I am not sure what personality disorder OW takes but she certainly takes pleasure in what she sees she has takn my H from.His partner of 28 yrs, kids, home, family, friends..
Apparently she had a hard life..well if it was that bad why did she stay married to her H for 15yr before D for A?
Every day she dressed up and hung around my H at the gym..I always get what I want she said when she was warned off my H by a co worker....arghhh.She used other people to get what she wanted..she has no boundaries and she is playing all the time with my very weak and depressed husbands brain.

You cant compete with these woman when they are at there most vile and manipulative..(wouldnt want to but you know what I mean). I hate myself for giving her what she wanted.

I try to convince myself she hasnt got the man I married..she has a broken man whose heart is at home with his family.
How can a mother..a mother of 2 ch hurt children by filling their dads head of reasons explaining why they wont see him, why they send back his bday, Xmas cards. How can he bloody believe it.
I am so tempted to go over and see her and give her a piece of my mind but then it gives her power...my S says she will get her day and revenge is sweet.
My M had an affair with my D, she was the ow. She was happy first but has been very unhappy for a long time.Now my D is ill she cannot go anywhere. She believes she is paying for what she did all those years ago. I cant disagree and it makes me think that you do get payback for interfering in other peoples R.

My H first line to his friends was..there are terrible stories about her but they are not true..I know her better than anyone!!! after 3 months!!!! He saw what she was like and heard it..her tongue is vile apparently for a woman..She is a predator, a parasite feeding on people who are weak.
I let it happen, I threw him out..its come back to bite me on the back side....

Four weeks now since the txt asking for a D.I am waiting on the next one asking whats happening. If he wants a D he will have to file becuase I wont take responsibilty for ending our marriage or his relationship with our D's.
Today is not a good day..the OW is everywhere I hate the hatred I feel...
CBT continues I know what I ahve to do but some days its hard...