Funny how money can lead to the weirdest issues. It is funny that your H saw it that way, I think while every man wants his W to always look her best (selfishly?), I think he was lucky to find you!
My BIL said that attraction comes with love. I have found that true. The more I hated my W in the past, the uglier she got and the "better I could do". Now that I have felt love for her, the attraction issue for me is much less of an issue than it was.
I never really did much for affection with my W in the last few years. No love & lots of fighting aren't condusive for that sort of stuff. In retrospect, it was part of the problem but I thought it was a symptom...too late to change that! Getting into habits like that (now that I recognize the need) is hard while we are still having issues, but like having the 2nd try romantic dinner, I want to try.
