My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[awest1217]

Nicole, I have been there. I have felt like a doormat and even now at times think I am being far too nice, but H is finally coming around to getting himself some help. I still do not believe that we are ever going to reconcile because he is still talking to OW non-stop, but at least he is getting help.

I say that to let you know that you really do need to detach and just be ok with things not working. If you talk to him or not may force him to make a decision, but from my experience, it will just make him more desperate. The desperation can at least lead him to counseling hopefully, but when it comes to you and your M, you need to be ok with the fact that it may not work out and that is his choice. You have let him know that you want this to work, but you can't control him or change his mind. Staying dark is not going to force his hand. That is why the rest of DB is so powerful. When you do talk to H, you need to be happy and pleasant, desirable. You will be showing him through actions that you want him back and not words, but you also need to get to a point that if that doesn't work, oh well. You deserve to be treated better, and if H doesn't want you then that is ok. That is the other part of DB. Getting back your life and not letting H control it anymore.