Hey y'all - thanks for the posts!

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Have you considered setting aside a little time in the morning just for yourself...ie. set the alarm for fifteen minutes earlier than you need to be up, get some coffee and journal or meditate, or walk, whatever. Use that time to focus only on the GOOD things in your life. You'll come back to your day after that fifteen minutes, refreshed and renewed. Sort of a PMA jump start for your day!

This is really something to think about - thanks for the suggestion. The way I am now, I tend to stay up late for my personal time, which I really feel I need - and end up not being able to get up. So... if I cah fulfill my "love of sleep" at night and get some private time in the morning, that might work for me. I HATE feeling rushed in the morning, too... there was a time before I knew W where I got in the habit of getting up at 5:30 am to go cycling and I really liked that. Had started this up again last Jan with the treadmill, but that fell to pieces with everything happening this year. SOmething to think about - and good motivation for getting up too, something to look forward to in the morning.

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Remember not to read to much into your w's actions...we aren't mind readers. No one is at their best when they don't feel well...

She just left a message saying "THis is your lovely wife, calling to tell you I love you..." - yeah, I think things are good.

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And one more suggestion, you can take or leave, but why not try to do something nice for her everyday...without telling her you did it or expecting any response at all from her. Selfless giving...and you are great at stuff like this, so why not give it a shot? It will get you focused on positive action and out of your self....which may lift your anxiety!

This is exactly right. This is the mindset that got me this far. Thanks for the reminder!

Thanks for the comments and PMA boost Alaska!

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Awesome. Love the attitude about that.

Thanks David - good thing to carry around in my head, keeps me on-track.

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Bill, why not suggest to her (when she's ready), that you swap rooms for a little while? Let her get used to being in the bedroom again, without the anxiety about you being in there.

You know, sometimes I think you guys are feeding me lines and ideas just as I need them - read this post when I woke up this morning. Soon after, W told me that she felt a lot of quilt over not being in the bedroom after our conversation, and she almost came and got in bed with me because of it. I told her that I didn't want her to do it out of guilt - guilt leads to resentment, which leads to divorce, which leads us to be unhappy for the rest of our lives. She appreciated my joke. Anyway, I suggested that we swap and see how it works, and she said no, not yet anyway. Maybe and idea to keep in my toolbox for when it's right.

Okay, off to lunch y'all -

- Bill