Hey there Bill! I think it is perfectly natural for some fear to come creeping back in and get us a bit mixed up and anxious as we work to set things in our lives right. Have you considered setting aside a little time in the morning just for yourself...ie. set the alarm for fifteen minutes earlier than you need to be up, get some coffee and journal or meditate, or walk, whatever. Use that time to focus only on the GOOD things in your life. You'll come back to your day after that fifteen minutes, refreshed and renewed. Sort of a PMA jump start for your day!

Great offer to take bandw photos of wife and so, if she wants kids in photos,too...great...the photos are for her, right? Maybe after you get a little closer in the intimacy department..which may take much time and patience on your part but will be worth it...you can suggest some sexier bandw photos...perhaps after she has the tummy tuck and breast lift she wants...

Also, remember that this time of year many folks get depressed so keep tabs on that and work hard to combat it. I have to myself, and it's not always easy. I have to force myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour and to get up at a reasonable hour....but it's worth it.

Remember not to read to much into your w's actions...we aren't mind readers. No one is at their best when they don't feel well...

And one more suggestion, you can take or leave, but why not try to do something nice for her everyday...without telling her you did it or expecting any response at all from her. Selfless giving...and you are great at stuff like this, so why not give it a shot? It will get you focused on positive action and out of your self....which may lift your anxiety!
And Bill, you already are perfectly imperfect, and exactly who you are supposed to be...a growing, progressing human striving to improve! So don't sweat trying to be perfect! You're great just the way you are! A masterpiece in progress.....

I am responsible for my own happiness.