Well didn't go to the hospital today. MIL called to tell me that the heart doctor came to check on Grandpa. Found that at some point over the past couple days, he had a mild heart attack. The doctor is not optomistic about Grandpa making it through this. Grandpa is a fighter though. Going back to the hospital tomorrow.
The stress from all this caused my wife and I to get into an argument. I forgot some of my DB principles. I knew she was upset and tried to push her to talk to me. She got angry because I was pushing and I got frustrated because she wasn't talking. So I left her house with both of us angry.
When I got home I IM'ed her and told her I was sorry we argued. She said she was sorry too and told me that the more people push her to talk the more she wants to run away. She wants to be left alone to deal with it. I told her that I was learning to handle these situations differently but sometimes that I slip and fall and that I was sorry. She said that her dad told her that she's the rock of the family and they look to her to be the strong one. That she won't show her pain until the curtain falls and she's in private. I told her that I understood and was here if she needed someone to lean on. I get the feeling she was talking about more than just this situation.
Thanks SA. My wife has actually told me the same thing and then adds that she doesn't have any romantic feelings for me though.
It gets frustrating because I don't know what the hell she's looking for. When we do spend time together we have fun together and we are very compatible. What else is there? OK I'm done venting about that.
DM, it's OK. Sometimes arguments happen, no matter how resolved you are not to get into any. I've done the same thing. I would loose my cool and he would get into defensive and voila...an argument. Don't forget that you are both highly stressed.
After such an argument I would feel terrible and I would email him to apologize and he would do the same. And that actually feels good when you are both able to apologize to each other...it somehow made me feel closer to him. And your W actually opened up a little to you, talking about her feelings. It may not be what you wanted to hear, but that's all that she can offer right now.
Hang in there and I hope that grandpa pulls through.
Last edited by Mila; 04/09/1002:38 AM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I am glad you are able to be there for your W and her family right now, though I am sure in some ways it is really hard. I do think this will speak volumes to her.
