Karen, Opt - thanks for the replies. I'm getting in a better state of mind now.
Quote: DOWN BOY DOWN BOY...........Slow down.....Do you talk this fast as well? I feel like you're rambling (and that's okay) as long as you can control it.(heh heh)
Heh - you know, I alternate between reserved, quiet, and deliberate speach... and very over-animated, depending on my mood.
Quote: I was wondering if you might consider a trade off w/W so that you can each have some R&R on different days yet not give up the work that you have both done so much to achieve. What do you think about alternating days to get up w/boys? You can sleep in one day and take your long shower, she can remain in her room one day and destress and then on the weekends you can share the job. Would that possible work????
You know, we've talked about this kind of thing, and it doesn't really work when we're both in the house, but these things are solvable. We make time for her to go off and do things alone, and I take my alone time with the boys too. I've been saying for the last few days that I want some of that alone time with them, I know I need it, but we haven't had the chance for it. I know what to do.
Quote: SO, here's your ROCK.....lean on buddy.....I think that you may be putting too much on the intimacy. It will come in time, right?
Yes it will. I know I need to chill. It will come. We've got great communication, we have some things to work through, it'll take a little time. Actually, your suggestion is similar to something our C had us doing at one point.
Quote: What does she do that makes you feel she is distant? Maybe if you pinpoint a behaviour or sets of behaviours you will change your perspective. She told you things are OK, so is it a real perception or is it that you are so afraid of backsliding that you see her as distancing and she is not?
This might be my perception. Seems on one hand that there has been less contact / hugging / kissing, but on the other hand I can think of recent examples of all this - plus, she offered a massage the other day, etc. C thinks that I may not know how to receive love - and this feeling might be a result of W actually getting CLOSER. Something to think about. One way or another, this ain't no crisis to get excited about, I know...
Quote: Bill, do not feel like a bad parent. It is programmed in children's genetic code: when they are sick they will cling to Mommy and revert to earlier stage behaviours. Nothing personal against the father involved.
Yep, you're right. I'm a great father. And my "soultion" here is to just keep doing the things to build our relationship and help them grow into good men. I need some 1:1 time with them right now, I think.
Quote: You may feel less disappointed in yourself if you learn to expect some failings, diagnose them and correct them. Would you expect any computer/program to perform flawlessly during its natural 'lifespan'? I did not think so. And correcting the problems is half the fun
C tells me that I am waaaay to hard on myself. Maybe. W has told me that she doesn't want me to be perfect (because she doens't want to have to be perfect - she's expressed happiness recently when I made a mistake or was wrong about something, said it made me "human"...) Yeah. Okay, I need to lighten up.
Quote: No, it is a form of telling you: there is nothing but the present. Our past is past, we can learn from it but not change it. The future is not here yet. We only have the here and now. So, if you start feeling anxious about the future you are changing your present for something that may not come to pass.
Yeah, I'm getting this. From C and also from my readling (books from Eckhart Tolle). C tells me to turn off my mind, focus on the present - and when I put these things into practice they really do help.
Quote: No, it is a form of telling you: there is nothing but the present. Our past is past, we can learn from it but not change it. The future is not here yet. We only have the here and now. So, if you start feeling anxious about the future you are changing your present for something that may not come to pass.
That's a good reminder.
Quote: OK, if that is the problem, go to your doctor and have your medications adjusted. That worked in the past...
I think I'm okay now. Actually, I do need to check in with the doctor here soon.
Thanks y'all for helping me through the spaz attack. I'm actually very happy to be learning to manage this stuff. Funny, with a little perspective it's suddenly like "Why are you allowing yourself to be affected like this? You know what to do..."
I'm actually very happy to be learning to manage this stuff. 
Funny, with a little perspective it's suddenly like "Why are you allowing yourself to be affected like this? You know what to do..."
