For me, when me and my wife get into a fight, I can actually see two paths diverge and one goes back to the old ways, when that happens I usually have enough sense to realize that emotionally chaeged responses will lead me down that old path, so I tend to catch myself.
I love this because it is indeed what I tend to do... except that too often I don't recognize which is which... or I just allow myself the wrong one. That is one of the things that I am 100% back doing now. EVERY response I make (well almost) is measured and thought out before I make it so far as possible. I intend for this to be one of my most permanent changes going forward since it's one of the ones I let slip and it has done damage for sure. The great thing is that no matter what happens with my marriage, MY KIDS will benefit from this as much as anyone because no longer will I allow myself to emotionally react so much to them. Hopefully the yelling and anger will fade too.
So you're right. I think I am here more for support than advice but then again, today I am in a good place. Tomorrow may be a different story. In general I think I know what I need to do... and not do... and I am prepared to do it.
