What have I changed? I've lost weight (about 10-15lbs). I'm not sure how much I could afford to lose. I'm fairly thin now. I had to buy some new clothes. I still go shopping for new clothes about every other week, but nothing crazy. Between cycling, bagpiping, my fraternal benevolent group, and all the home improvement I'm doing, I'm pretty busy. I start golf lessons tomorrow, which is my 180. The W always wanted me to try it, but I resisted, so I'm going to see how it goes. I'm going out more, even if it by myself. So, I'm not sure what more I should be doing. I have people telling me I look great, and that I look happy.
Which is why I think the LRT will ultimately fail. Even if my W is looking at me (which she currently isn't, since I have zero physical contact with her) and thinking that I look, sound, smell great, I don't think she will pursue because it would be too much work for her. I honestly don't think she will put forth an effort, because she will be unwilling to make any changes of her own.
Like MF, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say.
--Fergie
You trying to get inside your wife's head and assume her thoughts, that never works. Allow no contact to do what it can do, stop questioning it, in fact no contact is for you too, it will help rid you of these thoughts and insecurities and assist you in the detachment process - it's a requirement for you.
As for her not willing to make any changes on her part, your self-worth and self-esteem will rise to a point where you will know that it's her loss, not yours and at that point, that's when things change, trust me, everyone thinks like you do at the beginning of this process and then several weeks later your brain starts to think the right way again. I would say within a couple of weeks you will also be ready for some casual social interation with the opposite sex, great for your confidence and self-esteem, it will bring out the man in you, very attractive and when the word gets out that fergie is on the mend and starting to date again, your wife will start to have thoughts in her head about her decisions.
It's human nature, we only appreciate what we have when it's gone.
