I'm still breathing. I woke up and the world was still turning.

H talked to me for an hour last night while he was at work. He let me scream and cry and berate him and while he can't say anything besides sorry, he didn't try to justify or blame me like he did when he left. We texted back and forth most of the night, I don't think I fell asleep until after 2 (and waking up at 5:30 makes it a hard morning).

As far as the goal of reconciliation - I see myself as having two choices (the rock and the hard place). And I choose my kids having security, a house with a yard and their own rooms, not having to visit either parent, not having to be exposed to a skank parade on either of our parts.

Part of me feels a bit exhiliarated - like I finally see the finish line! But after that is another marathon...

Where do I go now?

Me - 30, H - 32
T - 10, M - 6, D - 1
DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2
on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10)
Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011