Maybe I didn't blow it?

[james217]

She told me I was selfish. I ignored her and her needs, and she felt terrified to even talk to me because she was scared of my disapproval to everything"

Wow.

Yeah. She's right. I knew it, but to hear her say it just hit me hard.


However... I realized that her main problem with me is totally something I can fix.

So I did the unthinkable, I did what everyone says not to do... I asked her out. I asked her if one day when the warm weather sticks here in chicago if she would like to go to the zoo with me. I've loved the zoo, and really wanted to go, so I just asked. I didn't even think too much about it... Me asking her to go with me just came out.

She said yeah.

So here I am.

Thing to know here too, is that she rarely, if ever at all contacts me, and she doesn't ask me to do things. She still wants a divorce, but has made comments about how we need the divorce to "really start over".

I don't agree with that, but I am not fighting it, either. I am going along with the divorce.

She also stated that she still feels anger towards me, and she doesn't know why. I actually took this as a good thing as she is progressing through the emotions properly.

She has never once said to me that we are done. From the moment she left she has made comments about us working it out, us getting together, us just needing some time and worrying about ourselves or a while.

So, yeah... I'm not worried about being alone, or lonely. I know I will meet someone else and be happy again and all that jazz... This isnt desperation anymore. I'm cool.

I just really feel like me and her have something really special, and I am willing to fight for it.

So... there is no date set for out zoo date... And I don't know what to do now.

Part of me thinks I should just give it a bit... I dunno... A couple weeks, maybe a month and wait for the weather to really warm up and give her some time and space and a call one week to see if she still wants to go...

Whacha all think?

I got hit with this man. The selfish and playing the blame game. I had a date with WAW yesterday. it went well.

extremely well. Just time to build upon that.

But the backsliding may happen because she has to see consistent changes.

i would suggest just a little contact. keep it light and happy. Make every memory positive. If you feel it escalating to an argument? Try to change the subject or crack a joke. If that doesn't work? Make an excuse to end the call.
You can check my sitch if you want to see what's going on in there.

I see the resentment and anger like this.

everytime you ignore or hurt someone it's like a drop of water or drops of water going into a balloon. the balloon is near the top and water is spilling out spewing their anger.

or springs a leak and the balloon has a whole it in.

Soleil. I would really really like the viewpoint of your WAW input on my thread.

konfuseeed I'm going to be praying for you dude. you seem to have a good handle on things.