Piano, I'll peek back in sometime. Good luck to you. Don't bother looking for my thread. It's kind of dead and I rarely post because my sitch stays the same. But my friends have had walkaway fathers that messed with their minds, so I now have strong opinions about the damage that causes. That's why your thread caught my attention.
Also, because you seem to be feeling guilty when you should be attempting to keep yourself focussed on your health and mental health in preparation for birth and tiredness of the first months after birth. Good luck!