How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

Much more of the same today. I woke up this morning and got ready for my personal training session and I had to move the W car so I could get out. I had to go in jer purse and get her keys. She was sleeping and usually has no problem with me doing so. I noticed she had a missed call on her "other phone" so I checked to see if maybe it was her father.

It was a contact by the name of "tony c" a name I had never seen before. Learning my lesson from last time I simply approached her and asked "you have a missed call from a tony c...do you mind if I asked who that is?' In a very calm tone. She said it is a supervisor from work and she got his number in case she needed anything. She said her uncle knows the guy. She found no issue with this and was starting to get upset...

I said to her, I was just asking as you told me to do in the past. So I asked... I then said "I never expected this from you. You are doing and saying things that you were against"

She said "no, you just don't know the real me, only who you wanted me to be"

So I questioned if 10 years was a lie, she said "not a lie more like me just going along with things....but now that iis what I am breaking away from so I can be happy. I got this phone so it could be mine and here you are doing it again"

I thought I was doing a good deed and it backfired.

I then apologized for my words yesterday, then I went on to say "I know I was a controlling person and I did everything I could to make you believe as if you and I were the only ones to exist. I tried to build a wall around you but know that no matter how high I built that wall if you wanted to get over it you would"

She said "you are just now realizing this after I have said it many times in the past?"

I know somewhere in the convo I question the 10 years to be a lie she said "not all of it" I questioned being in love with me and spending a life with me she said "did I say that?"

I fail to remember what I said that made her say the following but...
She said "you know I have a very hard time trusting people and it takes a lot for me to build that trust. Until I see any change in you I don't care what u have to say and don't care to let you know who I am"

I surebi left a lot out but man...I think this is one W that can't be DBed