Thanks Kimmie. Well IF there is more to his EAs than I know about, how won't come forward with the info. Never has. I realize this.
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All of this question about IC has definitely crossed my mind, but not as much as it is after the comments here. Hmmm. Thanks, as always.
Be careful amj. MWD has lots of horror stories about spouses that went to IC and the IC just validated an exit of the marriage for the client instead of finding a way to manage both.
The risk you take in sending your H to IC is that the IC may in no way act with a conscience to preserve the marriage. All they hear is your H's viewpoint and they will support THAT viewpoint in order to keep him coming back. They sympathize more than they do strategize.
MC and IC can work together if you have good therapists for both who do NOT act counterproductively.
What happens when the IC contradicts what the MC says? Your H is giong to take the one HE LIKES right now.. not the one that's productive for the marriage.
IN my opinion the MC viewpoint should always come first since its a more holistic approach... IC doens't take other family member's views into teh meeting so their views won't get accomodated to the same level a MC would. Not to mention many IC's aren't properly equippped with the tools to MANAGE those negotiations anyways.
Be VERY CAREFUL about directing him to an IC when your marriages is in so much trouble. Your H needs to LEARN how to BE a HUSBAND... THAT in my opinion is the biggest issue here -- How can he overcome his individual failings and act responsibly if he has no clue (and at this point its clear he has no clue) how to act as a responsible partner and husband.
MWD's DR has a lot of warnings about IC's and the damage they can potentially do to a marriage... read u on that.. i put some pp refs above for you.
I dno't reccomend IC unless he's being educated at how to be a HUSBAND at the same time by a GOOD FT.
