I feel HORRIBLE. I had to ask H for his help. It pisses me off that I: 1. Had to ask for help, and 2. How pissed off I am because I am pissed that I had to ask for help!
State competition for kids this weekend - 3.5 hours away from home. Prom on same day. I had a parent tell me that he could bring girls back for prom, but found out today that he isn't even going........so..........had no choice but to ask H if he would do it-----besides D16 had already asked him and he said "I haven't been asked to do anything." And that was because it was MY weekend----my activity (that he has never wanted anything to do with)----and I thought I had it all under control. UGGGhhhhhh.......and tell me HOW am I supposed to not be thinking about him when I can't have ZERO contact? So much going on....so much to do......and more H drama today----and to top it off, had to ask for his HELP! I HATE THIS!!!
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
State competition for my kids tomorrow (can't EVEN believe it's here already). D16's junior prom same day. The dress arrived Wednesday, had to find a place to alter in an emergency. Am supposed to pick it up today, then my High School girls team....then the 3.5 hour drive to the town for competition (should get to hotel by 9:30 - then have to be at college by 7:30). Have to get the dog boarded today and try to get eye drops for an eye infection that started yesterday.
I had to ask H to bring the girls back for prom - since the dad that offered to do this backed out (and didn't tell me). Had to get an extra hotel room since finding out I'm in charge of all the girls. I found out yesterday from D16. Actually I was not expecting H to be going to competition - it is not his thing, and don't feel to horrible that he will miss S11's performance in an attempt to get the girls back for prom. There was no way I could miss it - and the awards ceremony---because, THIS is my thing. I did not want to ask him to do this, even though it is for his daughter, but I had no choice. And, yes, it pisses me off that I had to ask.
To add to my stress today, I found out one of my judges is not going. We will probably be fined $250..........Why is this MY thing??
Last night was D13's first track meet. It was a relay meet. She ran in two relays - 2 - 800M legs in different races. I thought she did a GREAT job (both teams got 3rd place). Those of you that know, know that H did not want her to do track - because it cuts in to her pitching time.....and it does, but it is what she wanted to do....and I know, I need to get over it and not dwell on H----but I need to vent: H arrived and watched from a distance until it was time for D to run. D16 went over and talked to him briefly and then came back to sit with me. When D started to run her 2nd race (we all missed her first run), H came over and stood behind me. He chuckled a couple times and then very loudly said "I guess I should start booking that track scholarship!" "Yes, I will book that track scholarship." I turned around - and he was gone. I guess since she isn't breaking any running records in SEVENTH grade, it is not a worthwhile activity. D16 said he said to her that he "didn't see any college scouts at the meet." She asked if they came to her softball games, and his response: "not yet, but they will......"
When D13 came off the track (H was long gone by then), the first thing she said was "I'm glad dad wasn't here to see me get THIRD." I told her she did a GREAT job and there was nothing wrong with 3rd place---did she have fun. She said YES. Both D's then proceeded to tell me that dad told D13 she "better be a dam* good he$# of a runner since she is wasting time on that instead of pitching....."
He seems to be going deeper and deeper in to the tunnel. He is NOT the person I have loved for 30 years.
I will move forward. I will get past this. I need to vent. I need to share. This is my only forum for this. To the rest of the world I am pulled together and not affected by this - and to the rest of the world my H is still a pillar of society and one of the kindest men on the planet. I won't mention that D16 went to his house early Thursday a.m. to get something and he wasn't there. This is at least 3 (or 4)documented Thursday a.m.'s that he isn't at his house VERY early in the morning. I've tried to convince myself that he was done with OW (as he INSISTS), but probably time to face the music on that too. This I will not dwell on.
Time to focus on the stress of the weekend (try to get meds for my eye), and watching my kids do well at competition.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Yikes!!! Going to Knoxville, TN next month for GLOBAL finals. D13's Destination Imagination team placed 1st! So proud!!! Now for fundraising................unfortunately D16's team was way too focused on prom---didn't finish too well, and the appraisers did not appreciate S11's play about a canibal that turned in to a vegan................now off to softball. D13's team won 3 games yesterday - so now she plays two games today - hopefully will be taking another 1st for the weekend!
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
I am very busy. Busy is good, but with all of the activities for kids there is constant contact with H. Now that he's moving forward with D, it is even more awkward/difficult to deal with.
I wish I was doing as well as it "sounds."
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
I feel your pain. The kids activities can be stressful. My ex has started skipping most of my S games now b/c he has other things to do or just doesn't want to come. It is sad, but makes for a lot less tension.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Feeling very down today. I received an e-mail from one of the mom's on my son's baseball team----questions about uniforms and practice times. Several references to "H" asking her to check with everyone about these things. This used to be my job. I loved it. Last year I mentioned to H how losing this job was one more thing that I missed....one more loss that I had. We coached Little League together, with me the "organizer" since before we had kids.
Anyway, that's the way it is. It's very hard for me thinking about everything I have lost. Not productive, but still hard. Still can't turn it off. Not that I have any time to be doing any of this now, but I always used to be busy and still managed.
Yesterday H came to pick up S11 for baseball practice. I asked him to sign the e-file form that tax preparer sent. He asked "is that done already?" I had to beg to get his W-2 and other tax forms. He did finally give them to me. Last week I sent him a simple e-mail, that the taxes were done and our refund was X. I mentioned my e-mail to him and he said he guessed "he missed it."
SoCo, a lot of days I TRULY wish my H was more out of the picture with the kids. I know I've been warned about wishing that, but that is how I feel.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
To me it depends on if the parent is good for the kids or toxic. Mine is definitely toxic. If the parent is still a good parent then I think they should be involved as much as possible.
Another ball game passed last night, ex was a no show no call no text nothing. Hasn't seen one out of the first 5 of my S games in baseball. Only one soccer game that he has seen so far. Oh well, his loss.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
