Calling all affair annihilators & boundary setters

[courts0818]

Yeah, gman that's a little less nice. IDK, I guess right now I just have this vindictive nature burning inside of me and I don't want to be nice (at all).

PDT, we don't do drop-offs/pick-ups. H comes here to be with DD. That's what I've asked him to do bc she is only 3 and I want her in our home where she's comfortable and secure. To get away from him, my option is just to leave when he's here.

Oh Kalni, hugs to you!!!!!!!!!! Wow...you have been through so much and I can soooo relate to much of your story. That sounds like the kind of lie my H has been living for about 2 years now (if not longer). Ugh, I'm about sick just reading what you found through the keylogger. And seriously the OW he was with - how sick, manipulative, evil and pathetic that she said she would raise YOUR kids as hers. I'd like to slap in her face for that one. I’m sorry but these OW are just immoral and wicked in their attempts to steal a H and tear up a family. Seriously, get some self respect, respect for others and morals and values already.

I felt the same way you did - like it was my fault bc I must not have met his needs or I wasn't the wife he needed me to be. I was just thinking this morning of the many, many mean and hurtful things my H said to me when it all began. Things like, "I can't be happy with you." "You will never change." "You don't have what I need." "I've been unhappy for a long time." “You’ve held me back on things.” Oh okay...so that must have been his sick irrational way of validating what he did – walked out on me and (at that time) our 2 yr old DD.

I'm wondering if my H has gone back to OW like your H did when things weren't going well. I think my H is frustrated that I won't talk to him, but I'm just not ready. The pain is too raw right now.
I hope that someday, somehow maybe we can get to that same place that you and your H are at. I wish you the absolute best. I think the same things your H did; mine has done/is doing. He bought OW Christmas presents - got nothing for me and came to our house too late on Christmas morning to see DD open her gifts. From what I have seen on his bank statements he has spent OUR money and OUR time on dinners, hotel stays & who knows what else. He has told more lies over the past 2 years and then I could tell in lifetime.

I’m really encouraged by your story, Kalni – your strength and your ability to forgive. What an amazing woman you are!

I was also thinking this morning, H has probably been around about 30% of the time….I’ve pretty much raised our DD by myself. I’m so thankful she is such a sweet, silly, smart, loving, fun, independent, happy little girl. It just sickens me when I have to hear her say, “I miss my daddy.” I want him to feel every ounce of pain that DD and I have felt. I’m not wishing physical harm to him – I’m just saying – I hope that God convicts his heart for what he has done.

What an exhausting experience. : (