"She told me I was selfish. I ignored her and her needs, and she felt terrified to even talk to me because she was scared of my disapproval to everything"
My W told me virtually the same thing. I ignored her feelings, I was selfish etc, and all the time she was getting attention all right, by OM. My W still has anger after 16 months, and its because by channeling her anger towards me, especially by playing the blame game, it allows her to tell herself she made the right decision because of all MY inadequacies.
Ok guys I'm just offering a different perspective here. Everything the W said I have thought in my sitch. It got to the point where I wouldn't even bring daily stuff up because my H was either upset or rolling his eyes and not involved with me in any intimate way. So no, the W's behavior here isn't admirable at all but I just advise not to dispell what she's saying. The poster said he knows she was right and owns it which is a major thing to own so while I don't condone the actions she took I just want to put out there that it's very possible she does feel that way.
If you feel absent from a spouse, it grows into resentment & that's a fact, Jack. And it goes both ways.
