DU, how are you doing today? Are you managing to take things one day at a time?
Have you talked to your doctor lately about how things are going? I just went to my doctor today to discuss my symptoms and we changed antidepressants. I'll be going back in two weeks to check in with him. If you are consistently experiencing extreme lows, I hope you see your doctor soon.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
DU-it is SO hard to not react to our H's! I just did that today, "not reacted" or tried to fix things for H and man, it felt so good!!!! You WILL get there and I can tell that you are trying to get there and your H had a moment of panic there didnt he????!!!! Hang in there girl!!! You are doing fine!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I just wanted to say I'm also a friend of Max and talk to him frequently - and we're in similar situations right now so please don't hesitate to reach out to me here - or in the alt. I'd love to chat anytime as I know what you are going through. More than you know. And being alone is the worse thing. I'm so glad you have so much love and support here - you deserve it!
First off, you are doing okay...could be better but hey we all make mistakes. The key is the learn from them and ensure that we do not continue to make them.
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If only I could follow it through.
Focus on you and not him and you just may be able to follow through with them.
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I will continue to try.
That is all you can do - know that YOU CAN DO THIS!
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a result of stress at work and my anxiety
What are YOU doing to eliminate the stress? Define a plan of action...work out in the morning, go for a walk during lunch, have dinner with the girlfriends at least once a week, listen to music, pray daily oh....and pick up that puppy will ya
This will help eliminate the stress as will detaching from the situation.
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He wrote back that I should not have received anything because he did not initiate any new summons and then said he cancelled the last one.
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he just responded..."wait, stop, please just stop..."
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He inidated that he is concerned about the costs of going through lawyers for everything.
I call all of the above POSITIVES and answered prayers. Can you shift how you view these...consider where you were a few weeks ago and the interactions that you were having with H. They were negative, agressive...now look at the positives above.
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He then texted, "I needed to just get away from our situation and that is why I left".
IMO this SCREAMS....I'm confused, I need time, I still do not know what I want, I'm hurt, I'm scared.
Look honey...you are doing really well - better than you think. Your prayers are being answered. It is the 2nd half of the game and know is the time for you to remain on course. Stick to your plan...love his from a distant, give him and YOU this time, take this time to heal and GROW.
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I know that you will all say that I need to STOP reacting when I receive something as a result of my H.
Sounds simple...but then just STOP - Once you really detach you will see the pain that he is in and no longer allow yourself to respond to HIS crisis.
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This MLC is just driving me insane....
It drives all of us insane - if we let it. The key is to not allow it. To detach...to focus on ourselves. What areas in your life do you need to change. Patience maybe...
D - as I said earlier you are doing pretty good. Keep focused on the goal at hand and let nothing and I mean nothing deter you from your goals. That includes HIS issues.
Now go pick up that puppy please!
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I have just been accused on messing and modifying my H's Verizon account because he just got an email message confirming changes made to the account. I haven't even dialed his number let alone calling the phone company to change anything on his account. I guess when anything happens to him, it is always going to be MY fault. What the F$$K? Okay, I know, ignore it. This is absolutely crazy, and just when I was beginning to "normalize". He should check with the OW.
Have a good day everyone.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
DU, yes, ignore. Who knows why he got that message, but you know it wasn't something you did. You're getting the ideas.:) Try to put it out of your mind altogether.
DU - First off remember he is going to blame and project all of his negativity on you. This is HIS issue. You really need to ignore this or as other would say detach. He is going to project his negativity on you. This is NOT your fault - remember that.
Also remember....
1) do what YOU want to do 2) his issue are HIS issues not yours 3) you will make it thru this 4) you are exceptional - that fact that he cannot see this right now is HIS issue.
Keep your head and ignore his crisis.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
(((DU))) hang in there, and just keep distracting yourself from H's issues.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Some thing that we must ask ourselves and come to accept are:
1) Can I control someone else 2) Can I control myself and MY emotions 3) Where does our true happiness come from 4) What is God plan for me 5) Can I really look at myself instead of others.
Here is an interesting quote from Christian D Larson... Can you promise yourself that.... I will live in faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the BEST that is in ME.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
How are you doing DU? In my thread I've been getting a lot of 2x4s from people giving me the feedback that I'm still focusing too much on my H. I'm really working on thought stopping when he comes into my mind. Are you working on that too?
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
